I wrote this letter just now to a friend who I have been trying to connect with… I thought some of you may get a smile out of this one….
krishna
— On Tue, 1/2/11, krishna shukla <krishnakantshukla@yahoo.com> wrote:
From: krishna shukla <krishnakantshukla@yahoo.com>
To: abc
Date: Tuesday, 1 February, 2011, 18:55
please email me your cell phone. I have too much to tell you and if I type it all, will get tendonitis and hemmorioids from sitting too long, not to mention B12 deficiency from the magnetic B12 molecule getting disrupted from the em vibrations of the computer. my neural endo synapses in the right cerebral hemisphere would be rewired ( to be able to cope with digital reality) into bits and bytes, rendering me incapable of relating to a mozart sonata, a da vinci painting, or the math of transcendantal numbers which rely heavily on infitnite series of irrational numbers. I would also loose the ability to compose my own rythm, melodies , and words, since I would, of necessity rely on digitally mastered karaoke. of course, last, and by all means, the least of my troubles would be the leukeemia that comes from the soft x rays emanating from the monitor.
I have already had to get strong anti-depressants because around twenty people refused to “confirm” me as “friends” on facebook. I would also have to deal with the aftermath of testesterone surges from looking at the advertisements, as I type my email, which pop up in the right hand corner of my screen. Invariably, these advertisements are from “singles” dating websites that feature scantily clad nubiles with breasts the size of nebraska. the element silicon evolving into the elemental “silicone”. while I am at it, I shouldnt leave out “benign prostate hypertrophy” (enlarged prostate) that comes from sitting too long in an environment with radio frequency em waves generated by the microprocessor. And you are aware that all the time I will be using my computer, some dog breath nigerian with shit clinging to the hairs around his asshole (they dont clean up after disposal, a friend who went there told me)`will be using hacked spyware to`copy my key strokes to see if he can phish out a valuable pas3word.
no sir, I think a simple phone call would be better. my cell phone works: 607.287.9031.
send me your latest numbers,
jai baba,
krishna
— On Tue, 1/2/11, Abc wrote:
From: Abc
Subject: Re:
To: “krishna shukla”
Date: Tuesday, 1 February, 2011, 17:49
Hi Krishna,
I tried to call you several times, and I tried to send you many emails, but I got no reply. Your cell phone number is not in service now. Looks like we are in some kind of communications hell! Let me know if you get one of these emails. Would love to talk to you by phone.
